Special Guardianship Order

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by littlewitch66, May 19, 2017.

  1. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I have an SGO for my granddaughter as her parents were unfit to look after her. It's a legal order for children who for one reason or another cannot live with their birth parents and I receive a financial allowance for looking after her.

    I am in the UK but I wonder if other countries have the same kind of arrangement.
     
  2. Jason76

    Jason76 Active Member

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    Of course, what is true there is probably true in many or most other countries. However, though, in the US, the standards have to be pretty low to get kids away from parents. Apparently, parents smoking tobacco around them all day isn't reason enough. Also, as far as drugs are concerned, I think that's reason enough, but it's probably often difficult to prove, and parents probably lie a lot.
     
  3. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    In my case it wasn't hard to prove since there were needles and drug paraphernalia left all over her bed plus at the age of 3 she was able to tell the authorities what was going on. She knew enough to say they were sticking needles in their arms so it didn't matter how much they lied they left enough evidence around to prove they were unfit parents.
     
  4. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    We don't have anything similar in India but if grandparents wish to take care of their grandchildren legally they will have to go through a very long procedure and even then the chances are they would not succeed on different grounds. I am in a different country now where the rules are different and rules are very strict in favor of children. I have heard that if a child complains against his/her parents the parents get a real hard time. I remember about a case in the UK an Indian man was deported because the child has reported have said that her dad quarrels with her mom after drinking. The court did not hear wife's plea that it was only partially true and she did not want a divorce.
     
  5. janemarie

    janemarie Member

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    What a shame that your granddaughter cannot be with her own mum. Sometimes though, it is the best thing for the child and there is no other choice. What is really wonderful is that at least she is still with her family. Being looked after by her Grandma is not a bad thing and shouldn't affect her negatively when she is older as she is still with her flesh and blood family. Good for you for stepping in to care for her. Her parents will appreciate it in the long run.
     
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  6. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    That's terrible as children often say things that aren't true. I hope there was a full investigation into it. My granddaughter showed me how her parents 'took their medicine' and at 3 years old could imitate perfectly the action of using a syringe. That's when I knew it was time to do something as they were obviously injecting in front of her.

    Thank you, it hasn't been easy and I know she feels different at school with all her friends living with their parents. Her mother still has a big drug habit and never turns up to see her these days. Her father (my son) turns up but is a very bad role model. She is beginning to understand more now (she's 10) and I think it hurts her but I do try to make her life as good as possible.
     
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  7. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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  8. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    This is a horrible thing to happen and I notice that it happened some years ago. I assume the dad never saw his child again. Social services often get it wrong. They weren't very supportive of me at the beginning when I needed help and more or less left me to cope with the many problems by myself.
     
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  9. janemarie

    janemarie Member

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    I was adopted and placed into a family that abused me. Both sexually and physically. The social services would visit every couple of weeks but I was never allowed in the room when the lady was talking with my step mother. So the social services never got an idea of what was going on.

    I used to run away a lot and I would always get found and the police would take me back to that house again. No one listened to me as a child. No one questioned why I was running away. When I did finally speak up nobody believed me and I was punished for telling fibs!

    In one sense it is good that we are more caring and diligent towards our children now, but sometimes I think it has got out of hand. They automatically presume the child is being abused and take them away. What is needed is the parent to get specialised help. Along with regular visits from a social worker who sits with the child and talks to them.
     
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  10. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    @janemarie I was under the impression that social visitors and government inspectors always talked to children especially if an incident was reported or if a child was found behaving differently (as you mentioned you used to leave the home and later found by police). I think it's the same everywhere that government officials and social visitors visit in a routine way and complete a mere formality. They should go deeper into the matter to look at things from children's prospective rather making their records filled.
     
  11. janemarie

    janemarie Member

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    I am very happy to know that things are a lot different now. My ordeal was back in the sixties and early seventies so things were pretty bad then. Back then they didn't feel the need to talk to the child. I think their opinion was what does a child know? They thought it best to speak to the guardian.
     
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  12. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    I am really sorry to read about your granddaughter. Its a shame that she is separated from her parents due to drug usage of them. She really seems to have grown up a lot at such a tender age. I can only imagine how much stress she must have undergone but I am sure she must be quite happy in your care. I really hope that you son and his wife grow up and become sober soon. Have you tried getting them into a rehab or something? Do the government institutions in a position to help in this matter?
     
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  13. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    This has been going on for years and although they have been in rehab they will never be like other parents so there is no chance of them ever getting her back. My son is improved but will never be fit to look after a child and the mother keeps relapsing. Rehab only works if the addicts really want to get better.
     
  14. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Oh yes, unless they really really wish to get sober and have the willpower to do so, nothing and no one can help them. At least, she has got you to bank on. But it really irks me to think that the parents are missing out out so many joys of raising their little girl. Hope everything works for your granddaughter.
     
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  15. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    This is often a very difficult decision to make. But if the best interest of the child is put forward before any other decision, then this will work out for the best. The child is lucky than some to be able to stay with a loving and responsible blood relation than the option of being placed in a public system. It is awful to think of the horrible things some children have had to endure while in the care of negligent or abusive parents. Its the lowest of the pits when parents abuse their children in any way. There are simply no words good enough to describe them.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2017
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