Should our kids respect and trust people blindly because of their age?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by firstcry, Dec 21, 2016.

  1. firstcry

    firstcry Member

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    This may seem a bit confusing. I was watching a TV show recently where the topic was rising cases of child abuse all over the world. It was stunning to know that in a majority of the cases the culprits are aged people. That forced me for a rethinking in this matter.

    I think we should teach our kids to respect aged people but not to blindly trust anybody just because they are too old. I am a little confused here and curious to know your feedback on this topic.
     
  2. Jester85

    Jester85 Member

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    Respect elders, but don't blindly trust strangers, and do not go anywhere with strangers. Those rules aren't mutually exclusive.
    Someone's age is not a barometer of their moral character or their trustworthiness.
     
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  3. Jason76

    Jason76 Active Member

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    Absolutely not! Kids should never talk to strangers. They should know exactly who is safe to talk to and avoid the rest. If anyone thinks I am wrong, then check out the movie I Know My First Name is Steven. It's about a kid who was abducted for years and also sexually abused.

    However, note there are exceptions to the rule when a major emergency happens and of course, policemen, firemen, and whatnot would be people that should be OK for kids to talk to. Of course, some trusted people, Catholic priests, for instance, have gotten a bad rap, but that's just a minority of them.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2016
  4. James McAllister

    James McAllister Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Is respect to be earned or to be lost? It either exists inherently, or it doesn't. I try to operate with the idea that everyone deserves respect until there is a reason for it to be lost.

    It seems the topic of this is around safety. I disagree with the idea that kids just shouldn't ever talk to strangers. Having this instilled to me cripled me when I got older and had to go out into the world (and I discovered strangers had everything I wanted! Whether that be money, products, friendships, love etc.)

    That being said, context is extremely important. It doesn't really seem like the best idea for children to approach or even talk to strangers when they're alone. Children should never go anywhere with strangers without a protective parent present. Children should be taught not to trust strangers blindly, but not be paranoid to the point where they think everyone is evil and out to hurt them.

    It's our job to point out situations that should never happen (i.e getting into a car with a stranger) make it easy for our children to know what to do in certain situations (how to get ahold of parents for example) and what to do in the event of an emergency.
     
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  5. Miches

    Miches Member

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    My child is friendly and too trusting that it breaks my heart to tell him that not everyone can be trusted. As a parent, however, I know that for him to stay safe, I should teach him to stay away from strangers and not accept stuff such as candies, toys, or whatever from someone he doesn't know. As much as possible, we also need to minimize, if not eliminate, opportunities for our children to mingle with strangers. While it is easy to go overboard and become paranoid, I'd rather err on the side of caution when it concerns my son.
     
  6. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    Teaching a child to trust adults is part of rearing the children. It is tricky when it comes to adult who are not worthy of being trusted so parents play it safe by teaching their children to discern the age. For a grade schooler and younger, an adult including 18-year olds are to be respected in a way because of their age. However, if the adult is not making sense then the child should disregard the respect. Now, that is the hardest part, how to make the child understand that disregarding respect.
     
  7. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Member

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    Respect begets respect. Trust is better than love. These the virtues we are always emphasizing to our growing kids before. Any age or especially the elderly, they should be respected and revered if possible so much so if they're their relatives and closed members of the our family. But to the point of showing trust to an elderly who is a stranger is not being permitted them to do it. Since our kids are on their tender age. They are still considered as innocent. We never allow themselves to trust anybody except our members of the family.
     
  8. Vinaya

    Vinaya Member

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    In our culture and tradition, children are taught to believe the elders blindly. However, the children are getting modern education which teaches them to be rational. Thus, there is a conflict between the educated children and the traditionalist parents. Children should respect elders but must not believe what they are told, they have to find truth themselves.
     
  9. Jester85

    Jester85 Member

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    Be respectful but be aware. You can treat someone respectfully without blindly trusting everything they say. It's a bit of a gray area that might be hard for kids to understand at first.
     
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  10. kamai

    kamai Member

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    Age for me doesn't matter I've known of elderly people who are very evil. Kid's shouldn't trust any stranger period even people you may think you know very well can't be trusted either. Kid's may respect the elderly but not put their entire trust on them. One never knowns what's on anyones minds.
     
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  11. Decentlady

    Decentlady Active Member

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    I rather teach my child not to trust anyone and report any unusual incidences than be sorry later. Respecting people is one thing and trusting them and getting close to them is anorher matter all together.

    While today's world is full of perverts that I wouldn't be embarrased if an elderly complained that my child doesn't play with them.
     
  12. firstcry

    firstcry Member

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    I think everybody is having the same opinion here - respect elder and do trust anybody blindly. It was shocking to see that in a number of cases the culprits were from own families. It is quite baffling whom to trust?

    I think we should teach them how to differentiate between friendly and unfriendly gestures. Kids should feel free to approach their parents and discuss anything. In fact it is a good strategy to spend half an hour every day after school with our kids. This time should not be used for teaching, doing homework or any other serious discussions. Just sit with them, chat with them casually and find out how was the day in school. I have seen parents doing this while playing with them. In the present day scenario this is very important. It should be a regular thing and should be followed religiously by parents. This may also lead to a stronger emotional bonding between the parent and the kid.
     
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  13. faith

    faith Member

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    No, you are not wrong in this opinion. This is very factual. The media in general has tried to brainwash our children from the youngest age possible, and to not listen to those with more experience---in particular, their elders.
     
  14. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Member

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    Well I think that anytime you attach the word blindly to anything it is probably not too easy to defend, but I think that kids should respect their elders, but then again there are some people who they avoid.
     
  15. tony

    tony Member

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    I agree with you absolutely we should teach children to respect their elders. We should also make them know the probable dangers or risk trusting people blindly whether they are older or younger.
    I also do think children should be free sometimes to be themselves, they shouldn't be under compulsion to greeting every Tom, Dick and Harry they come across.
     
  16. blugoddess

    blugoddess New Member

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    You are right. People are people. Bad comes in all ages and walks of life. I teach mine to be generally respectful of human kind, but I don't encourage anything beyond this. Kids have to be so much smarter these days because predators are finding all kinds of ways to exploit their innocence.
     
  17. blugoddess

    blugoddess New Member

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    Unfortunately, it's older family members that are often the predators. We really have to teach our children the difference between proper behavior and improper behavior. We can't respect people more than what's right. What's right should always be the standard. This saves children and keeps them from being victims.
     
  18. pwarbi

    pwarbi Active Member

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    I also agree that we shouldn't bring our children up to never talk to strangers because as they get older it does hold them back somewhat as there will have to come a point when they will HAVE to. Instilling knowledge of who to trust and who not to. Who to respect and who not to is far more important but it's also a lot harder and that's why I think a lot of parents do take the easier option of saying don't talk to anybody.

    It sounds like I'm saying that parents who stop their children talking to anybody and everybody are bad parents, but i'm not saying that at all. In this day and age it's understandable why they would go down that route, but just like we can't protect our children by locking them away until they're 16, we also can't paint the whole world as a dark and bad place so giving them the knowledge to make their own decisions, and maybe more importantly the right ones, is better for them than thinking for them and laying down restrictions that will eventually have to be broken anyway as they get older and start to venture out into the world on their own.
     
  19. blugoddess

    blugoddess New Member

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    I understand what you're saying but unfortunately, there really are a lot of child predators. This is not really made public, but it's true. Go to youtube and you will find a ton of stories. Even when my children play on Xbox I can spot predators trying to get personal information and draw my children out. Not everyone is bad but there are plenty of people looking for an opportunity to take advantage of a child. This is sad but true. The only realistic answer is to teach your child how to spot a predator. It's not really hard. You can't teach them to take a chance first, that chance could be detrimental. Youtube has many videos that will teach both the child and the parent what to look for in a variety of different situations. They will even teach internet scenarios. You can watch these videos with your child and learn together. The mind of a predator is different from the average person. Many of the videos even break down the type of children that a predator will seek out. The only answer is knowledge and education for both the parent and the child.:emoji_disappointed:
     
  20. blugoddess

    blugoddess New Member

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    Sometimes you have to be matter of fact with your honesty about the dangers that a child can face. You can explain that being respectful is addressing an elder properly and using good manners but not walking off with an elder or allowing them to touch them in inappropriate places. This type of communication paints a clear picture and doesn't beat around the bush. Most kids will understand a conversation that is this explicit.:oops:
     

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