Quarrelsome neighbor kids

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Alexandoy, Jan 21, 2018.

  1. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    Have you experienced having a neighbor with quarrelsome kids? That they will come to your home and play with your kids at first and later on they will act like bullies. Such brats should not be left unattended in your home. If they come as guests then they should act like guests. And if they act like bullies then that should be the end of their visit. No more next time.
     
  2. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    One needs to handle such matters with kid gloves as it is always someone else's child is blamed and not their own. Normally when adults interfere matters become issues and it is best if they are avoided.
     
  3. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    I'm sure every parent has experienced this at least once. Not only neighbors kids, but also kids in the immediate family unit like cousins, nieces and nephews. You know these kids are acting up and are badly behaved, and you expect their parents to step in and correct the situation. But this is not happening and you are faced with a dilemma. Kick up a fuss and insist on good behaviour (potentially ruining some relationships with the parents), or put up with it and ensure they don't get out of hand.
     
  4. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    It's a common thing that we all face and that's absolutely normal. You never know if your children act the same when mingling with other children in your society or with with family members. I would rather not interrupt unless the situation goes out of hands or the quarreling takes an ugly shape. Children play quarrel and then forget everything sooner than later but if the elders are involved it reaches to an ugly point sometimes.
     
  5. harijobs

    harijobs Member

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    Yes, when I was growing up I have the type of friends one boy and girl who lives just next door to us, come to play with me and my brother. They would come and we all start to play and when everything goes well the girl starts to dictate us all including her younger brother. Since she is a girl my brother won't say anything to her but I and her will have endless arguments which sometimes ends up in a fight. But to our surprise, my mother never interfered in that issue. After some years our neighbours moved to a new place and never came back. Her mom is such a sweet lady and her dad is a decent man. Yet their children will be dominating and fights with other kids. When I asked my mom why she never came and helped me to settle this problem she said, "These things are small issues which you have to solve it by yourself as in life when you grow up you will have to face a lot of different people in your career and any other places. So it is best for parents not to involve and create a much bigger issue and let the child solve it and parents should only go when the situation goes out of hand and your kids really need help. This will encourage the importance of being unique and independent.
     
  6. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    There is a boy and a girl who stay beside and opposite of my house who are at the same age as my eldest son. They come to my house and play sometimes, and most of the time their parents are not with them. They play well together with my kids most of the time, but they have some quarrels sometimes too, especially the girl, as she is a bit bossy and wants others to follow her, though she is not a bully at all. I always try to let them settle the issues on their own, but I don't like quarrels at all, so if I find it's too much, then I will tell them "no quarrels, and talk nicely please." Throughout the years, I have found that they are growing up (they are 9 years old now), they quarrel less and they play even better together.

    I agree with less interfering with the kids' conflict, but it's good we are there to guide them if needed too, and giving them space to grow will help them turn into better people and friends.
     
  7. Jason76

    Jason76 Active Member

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    A larger problem is when they are a part of the family. In that case, you can't make them leave without appearing rude and damaging family relations - and of course, the parents of the kids don't believe their kids are bad - or really think their scolding/punishment stops it. But kids are kids, teens are teens, but I think people need to show a backbone sometimes.

    Anyway, how can someone take a stand without seeming like an unreasonable jerk or dork?
     
  8. amitkokiladitya

    amitkokiladitya Active Member

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    In this case, I will first try my best to keep my kids away from them. It is not because saying anything to the neighbor's kid will spoil my relationships with them But all because I do not want my kids to learn bad things from them. Alternatively, I will keep them involved in some activity within the house and take them to some park. I will keep avoiding them until their parents themselves realize my reason for doing so.
     
  9. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I think this happens to most of us at some time or other. My son had a friend who he was always falling out with but for some reason he always sought his approval. I used to ask him why he let him get away with such horrible behaviour but he would always defend him. Eventually he saw him for the bully he was and they went their separate ways. He just had to find out for himself. I would never allow him in our house though,
     
  10. Jason76

    Jason76 Active Member

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    Some kids seem to have different values. When I was a boy, I was a rough and tumble country sort. Nevertheless, I didn't throw rocks at geese. :rolleyes: I'm wondering how those kids got to be raised that way.

    Anyway, though, I saw no indication those boys were bullies, but they're just a little too insensitive.
     
  11. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

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    I consider myself pretty lucky to have always had really good neighbors, and most of the time that extended to their kids as well. I cannot really remember any troublemakers or anything but thinking back I am sure that there were some that I were a bit weary of.
     
  12. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Oh yes, several times. Then there are also some kids who intentionally break toys in the home they are visiting. There was this girl who already had a lot of toys of her own, however, she was used to being the centre of attention all the time and wanted to have the best toys, best things to herself. Whenever she felt she was not being given the best of the toys or more turns at a game than others, she broke a toy or started whining loudly. After she broke 2 or 3 of my son's favorite toys, I spoke to her mother and she finally toned down a bit.
     

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