Paternity Leave

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Kieranlewix, Nov 11, 2017.

  1. Kieranlewix

    Kieranlewix Member

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    I have heard so many men say that that staying home after your child is born is good for development. Apparently, fathers should take a leave of absence from their workplaces in order to be around for their newborn babies. I have to say, this is a very foreign concept for most :emoji_smile:African fathers. In fact, the only reason you would stay home is either because you have no job or are already retired. Did you stay home during the first few months of your child's life?
     
  2. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    As far as I know, my dad didn't stay home when I was born. He was the breadwinner, so he had to work. I don't think it's a wise move if dad's would take a leave just because they have a newborn child when they can bond with them when they're off from work.
     
  3. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

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    For me, paternity leave is more for the wife and less for the baby. The wife definitely needs moral support which is best to come from the husband. I haven't experienced paternity leave and I'm glad that we now have that. Again, it is for the benefit of the wife.
     
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  4. Kieranlewix

    Kieranlewix Member

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    I had never thought of it that way. It is definitely true that the wife needs support which as men we can provide by first going on leave. It is very unfortunate that this stereotype that men should continue with their normal lives without any changes even after a new member of the family arrives, exists. Women have to take maternity leave in order to give birth to the baby and take care of him/her for the first few months. During this period, they are overworked and tired all the time, not to mention weak. It is only fair that we should also take some time off work to help with the child and give moral support to our wives.
     
  5. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

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    I am pretty sure every place I have worked has differed a lot in these policies, as well as maternity leave. I think it is getting more attention but still probably largely dependent on where you work.
     
  6. kamai

    kamai Active Member

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    I don't know of a single father who stayed home from work to be with their new born. Moms on the other hand must because they breast feed and the babies need their arms to feel the comfort. I fortunate to have a month off to be with my baby but I feel it has to be more as I know in other countries they get at least 3 months.
     
  7. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    I think paternity leave isn't only for the husband to support the wife, but also it's really a good bonding time between the father and child. We don't usually have months of paternity leave here, but many companies are giving 1 - 3 day paternity leave to the fathers. I remember my husband took a week off when our first child was born, at least there were a few more days for him to spend whole day with the baby and also take some good rest. I really think fathers should really take some days off if possible as babies always cry in the middle of the night, and the fathers might not be able to sleep well at night too.

    My husband has started working from home when our second and third children were born, and it's so nice that he's at home most of the time, helping out and spending time with the baby and the elder kids as well. I know it isn't easy for every man to stay at home with the wife and baby after the baby was born, but it'd be good to be able to spend as much as they can. As @Alexandoy said, it's really a huge support to the wife, and the kids and baby will be so much happier with the dad around too.
     
  8. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    I am not 100% sure but I think some workplaces do give paternity leave for fathers in my country (South Africa), although this is not a widely or generally accepted practice. Personally, I don't agree with the idea that a man should take off one whole month just to stay home and offer support to his wife and baby. He can take a family responsibility leave of some days or even a week but more than that is really unnecessary. Unless of course something terrible happened and he is left alone to care for the new born. That would change the perspective and he can even be allowed to take a few months leave to care for the new born.
     
  9. Miches

    Miches Active Member

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    I think this can vary in places and on how evolved a country's culture is. Male paternity leave drew a lot of attention when Mark Zuckerberg took a two-month leave from his job as CEO of Facebook to care for his first baby. He would post pictures of himself doing diaper duties and of taking her to the doctor for immunization. These gestures are hardly for his wife but for his own satisfaction at having been a significant part of his baby's growth. Think, these people can afford to pay for as many nannies or private nurses as they want.

    Our country grants a mandatory 7 days leave for new fathers up to four children and some companies even give more as additional benefits. People have different ways of using them depending on their situations in life. Some use them to work on extra jobs while most will spend the days with their wife and the newborn.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2017
  10. Natasha0717

    Natasha0717 New Member

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    If the mother is the one going back to work, and the dad has decided to stay home and watch the child or children (instead of hiring a babysitter or nanny,) then I see no reason why a guy couldn't go on paternity leave for their newborn child. Although, I think for at least the first month the mom should stay home with the child, esp. because she has just given birth, breastfeeding (if necessary), and just for general bonding reasons. But after that, Dad can stay home if Mom chooses to go back to work, or they could even alternate. That's what my brother and his wife do, for years now. He works 3-4 days a week, wife works 4-5, and a babysitter steps in for some mornings, etc. But I know both kids were equally raised by both parents. :)
     

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