Best punishment for kids?

Discussion in 'Kids' started by Rexy, Nov 19, 2017.

  1. Rexy

    Rexy Member

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    When kids do something wrong, you want to punish them so that they learn that it was wrong. But what is the limit to a punishment for a kid? Ban them from seeing friends, using electronics or even lock them inside their room? What is the ideal punishment for a kid that's 2-8 years old?
     
  2. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

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    I have regretted so much why I kept punishing my children while they're still kids. I imposed the punishment. I asked forgiveness from them why I was doing that to them.

    Now, they're already grown up. They've their own family and children to rear up. I tell them the best for of discipline to erring kids and teens is to show them the unfeigned love by telling them what is wrong and teach them what is proper and respect their will. But don't forget to stress the consequences of their misbehavior or mistakes. If they do what's right, they're blessed. If they do what's wrong, they would surely suffer. I repeat to them force doesn't work.
     
  3. workingbuck

    workingbuck Active Member

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    for kids that age, I usually do the "face the wall" punishment and let the kids ask for forgiveness. But it depends on what they did wrong, if it's a big one like hurting other kids then I would take the kid's toy and make him face the whole for hours with his hands up in the air. I know a lot might think it's too much but I think it's better than hitting a child.
     
  4. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

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    My kind of punishment is a sort of penalty. No, not corporal because it is now illegal to hurt kids. A cut in allowance is painful for a child of age. For a pre-schooler, sitting in the corner is still effective. I used to do that to erring children in our house particularly to my nephew who was a brat. And staying in a corner for half an hour really punishes him no end. Some other punishments that I do is in depriving the erring child to play or use his toy. But with food, I don't think it is a good idea to use it as a tool for punishment.
     
  5. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    Each child needs a different approach. Some like snacks. May be not giving them snacks as punishment will work on such kids and then there are those who want love and someone to talk to. If no one talks to them that may help. The list is endless.
     
  6. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    I am not sure if a particular punishment will work for all the kids of same age or they will accept it gracefully. You will have to be a perfect psychologist to understand what punishment works on your kid or is it worth repeating to get the desired results. I think you will have to act according to situation and seriousness of the situation and also keeping in mind how the child will react at that.
     
  7. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    For my granddaughter it is taking away her privileges like her phone but I have grounded her on occasions. The trouble with grounding is it's punishment for me too as she whines round me all the time :)

    My son was very hard to punish because if I took away his pocket money he would steal and if I grounded him he would jump out of the bedroom window. He was very hard to deal with.
     
  8. Rexy

    Rexy Member

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    You shouldn't ask for forgiveness because that you punished your kids. They are probably grateful that you punished them.

    Yeah, that's good as well!

    Yeah, taking away their cellphone or something like that is great.
     
  9. AmieBotella

    AmieBotella Member

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    I believe each child is different. While I believe in corporal punishment, I do not use it all the time. This type is considered when a wrong doing has reached the highest level. But what I normally do is I designated a 'timeout chair' for him whenever he puts on a tantrum especially when my son's just around 2-4 years old. Sometimes there will be moments of unstoppable wailing and shouting so what I'd do is carry my boy and place him in the chair. when he stands up, I'll bring him back over and over again. Until he calms down and I will be able to talk to him and explain things with him. My timeout chair is not his place of comfort though, not his play chair or study chair, just an isolated corner of the room where he can feel that it's something wrong he did that made him be there. It may sound easy to do, but it's not. But it's worth the effort for you and your kid. For me, the method calms me too, so that I would not punish him based on my anger but rather based on a clear perspective. Now that my son's almost 10, he still remembers his timeout chair but never uses it. When right now, he'll put on a fit, I'll just say, do you want me to revive the chair, or you will change your mood? Works all the time fro him. I don't know what's in the chair, but he doesn't like it there. It's like there's an invisible wall when he sits there and he really is not moving until I told him so.
     
  10. amitkokiladitya

    amitkokiladitya Active Member

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    I think the best punishment for kids is to stop talking to them for a while. This resort works best for me in handling my 4 year old son. They might appear ignorant in the beginning, but after a few minutes they start feeling restless. The fact that their parents are no longer talking to them always makes them feel sorry. I find this method better than shouting or giving any other punishment.
     
  11. Rexy

    Rexy Member

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    Maybe for some, but honestly, I don't think that's the way to go. I think you should talk to them, explain to them what they did wrong, and then give them some sort of punishment such as that they're not allowed on the TV for a while.
     
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  12. Kieranlewix

    Kieranlewix Member

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    It is important to build a good rapport with your child but remember, first impressions are everything. Yes, the very first impression. How you as a parent react the first time your kid does something wrong will stick with him/her. Of course it will depend on what they have done wrong. For small matters, it is sensible to give him a time out or ground him but sometimes a kid needs to be spanked in order to learn from his mistake. I am not a crusader for corporal punishment either, but from experience, I know kids understand the hard approach better and faster than a little talking to.

    I was a very naughty child and without a little whooping, I would not be where I am now. It is especially hard for mothers to step up and inflict any pain on their children. They have a lot of remorse which is at times good and at others, harmful to the kid. Fathers will often adapt and understand that they have to be the villain in their kids' stories in order to control them. We all have our faults and at times fathers can take things to the extremes and it is where the mothers come in and calm them down. Generally, the punishment structure for kids is a gray area and it is better for parents to discuss the best approach in relation to their own kids.
     
  13. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

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    Well of course we want the punishment to fit the crime, but that is easier said than done sometimes, especially with kids. Some kids reposnd differently to different types of punishment too, so I would also think there is something to be said for those more creative punishments.
     
  14. Rexy

    Rexy Member

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    Honestly, if your kid is a toddler, he/she won't remember the first time their parents got mad at them, but like you said, it might stick with them. Yeah, time or ground him/her, but spanked? No... Violence is not the way to go.
     
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  15. Folk Artist

    Folk Artist Active Member

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    If they are the ages 6 to 8, you could put them to work and increase their ways of being responsible with some daily chores. You will have to help them along though,and encourage them to work as a team. Misbehaving is usually about getting your attention or being angry-or about you having control. I would make sure you are fair with your punishments and always refrain from smacking a child, because it could cause mental issues with the child.
     
  16. Onad

    Onad New Member

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    I think it is not necessary or advisable to punish kids whenever they've done something wrong. Whenever my kids did something that is inappropriate, I usually talk to them and let them know that what they did is not right. I tell them that I didn't like it so then they would realize the mistake they've committed. Kids are kids and they normally do something not knowing whether it is right or wrong and us parents are the one's to tell them if it is a good or bad thing but we can do it without giving them punishment. There are situations that I really need to punish them like not letting them use gadgets or go outside and play with friends but these are situations that I feel there is a need to do it. But still, I make it a point that they understand why I'm doing it. This way they can avoid committing the same mistake not because they are afraid but because they learned from it.
     
  17. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    Honestly I haven't found the best punishment for kids between that age, though I have three kids about the age in between. For my 1.5 year old boy, there's no punishment at all. At the moment, I am taking away certain privileges from them though I still don't think it's good to do so, but I haven't find a better way yet. How I wish I don't need to punish them at all and they will just do what they should, or not do what they shouldn't. :D
     
  18. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    In fact BEST and PUNISHMENT do not match together perfectly. Punishment is always the last option since it doesn't help children's cause a bit. I have seen most children that were punished even for their smallest of mistakes turning into baddies in later stage. The best way to bring children to terms is to give them a proper reason for everything or at most stop talking to them for sometime. I remember whenever my daughter acted naughty my wife would say, "I am going leaving you alone at home" and my daughter would say sorry and ready to behave.
     
  19. remnant

    remnant Member

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    Most parents assume that corporal punishment is the best to administer on errant kids. A stick and carrot policy works best. It has to be stated that proportionality is important as excessive punishment achieves the opposite effect.
     
  20. Jason76

    Jason76 Active Member

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    It's difficult to say. Some kids need corporal punishment and some don't. I say this because when I was in school, the admin would send kids to in-school suspension for fights, but it didn't seem to deter the behavior. However, though, that was at the middle school and high school age, but I think the analogy sort of applies.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2017
  21. Kakashi2020

    Kakashi2020 Member

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    If that's the case then no smartphone for a day or two instead I give them a book to read and I tell them that if they can't answer my question about the book then they can't have their smartphones. Well that generally worked out.
     
  22. amitkokiladitya

    amitkokiladitya Active Member

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    According to me, it is a general tendency of kids to take their parents for granted if they are not punished for their mistakes. Every child is smart enough and knows his limits. Moreover, they also know it when they are crossing their limits and doing so can offend their parents. A little bit of strictness can really help a lot in keeping the situation under control. Punishment definitely does not justify physical abuse, but scolding and debarment can be effective in keeping the child under discipline .
     
  23. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    Punishment for kids should largely be based on the their age and the severity of their actions. A 2 year old toddler can't be punished like a 10 year old. Oftentimes, gentle correction methods such as time out or taking away activites like TV and games will go a long way in passing the message across.
     
  24. to7update

    to7update Active Member

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    Raising kids is hard. Punishment should be adequate for each situation, so it's hard to generalize a punishment, pretty much like @tallulah is saying. The most important is that they understand what they are being punished for, and that they understand what they did wrong.
     
  25. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    I don't think a child gets any better with hard punishment but becomes even more naughty if punished often. In my personal humble opinion a child makes it a point to react as harshly if punished because in most cases he doesn't even know that he did something wrong. So the best way to mend his ways is to explain everything in detail to him and how he should have done the things or how the good children behave and do things. Punishment only make a child more stubborn and nothing else.
     
  26. JiLLian

    JiLLian New Member

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    I used to do heart-to-heart talk with my daughter every time she does wrong. I always let her explain why she did that and educate her that what she did is wrong. As parents, we should always be careful in punishing our kids because it might cause them to become rebellious. We should always ask God wisdom in raising our kids properly. As we all know, we are not perfect and can commit mistakes too.
     
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  27. to7update

    to7update Active Member

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    There is no formula to deal with kids! What works with some, don't work with others. Kids can be manipulative, so we need to set them rules, and establish penalties - or punishments - for breaking the rules, exactly the same way as we adults have legislation. :)
     
  28. amitkokiladitya

    amitkokiladitya Active Member

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    I completely agree with you. Punishment should be capable of making the kids realize their mistakes and then refrain them from repeating it in the future. Any punishment whether soft or hard is baseless if it fails to teach the desired lesson.
     
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  29. to7update

    to7update Active Member

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    It's so hard to parent! It's most likely the hardest thing I've ever done. The most rewarding too haha. Kids are super smart, filled with energy, so we need to be at our very best to be fair to them and to raise them properly. :)
     

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