No other way to handle this naughty boy

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by iamawriter, Jun 18, 2017.

  1. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    I am talking about my brother the last in the family. We were all at school and mother had to see to cooking and stuff and this youngster a 2 year old would be seen in the most unlikely of places. My mother had no other option but to tie him to the dining table using a soft cloth until she was free to take care of him.

    How would you have handled this situation?
     
  2. workingbuck

    workingbuck Active Member

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    I don't think I would do such a thing to my kid. I would rather hire a nanny to look over my kids while I'm busy than tie them like that. I have a brother and a sister, I am two years older than my brother and four years older than my sister. We were a problem for my mom when we were kids since we were all running around and making small disasters at home even if she is around. She had the same problem of not getting to do a lot of housework because of looking after us. So she decided to be a full time mom and hired someone who can cook, clean the house and do the laundry so she would have her full attention on us.
     
  3. Miches

    Miches Active Member

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    I'll probably just work around the child's schedule instead of tying him to a table while I do some cooking or other chores around the house. A toddler will typically sleep longer than adults so an adult will have time to do things while the toddler is sleeping. Of course, on some days, your mom will likely lose some precious hours of sleep, but she can make up for that on some days. Most toddlers, specially boys, are naughty, and your brother's case is not an exception. Been there, lost some sleep, but it never crossed my mind to tie my child to a table or chair.
     
  4. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

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    Well I think that we all have to face these kinds of circumstances. They are all different, and each kid responds differently to each situation, which of course makes things tough. Just make sure some honest discussion follows anything you do.
     
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  5. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    I do not know why this option was not chosen. It could have been due to financial constraints or she could not find one.
    It may not have been for her the best choice to do what she did
     
  6. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    I am not sure in a household such as ours this may have been feasible as there were time constraints in that there were other kids in the house that she had to worry about.
     
  7. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    This toddler we were told did not mind this as his mother was close at hand talking to him and picking him up whenever there was some free time for her to do so.
     
  8. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

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    I had a nephew like that and my sister-in-law also did that solution of tying the boy to the crib. I couldn't blame her because my nephew was so unruly that he would hurt himself. In fact, he always had a bulge on the head due to a fall on the stairs. It's fine when there is someone in the house to look after him but if my nephew is alone with his mother then there is no recourse but to tie him so the mother could do other things. What's good in that solution is that the boy soon learned how to behave otherwise he would suffer the punishment of being tied.
     
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  9. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    And specially when the mother is head over heels in love with the child she could be having no other option.
     
  10. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I don't think I would have done that although as long as she was around and keeping an eye on him I guess he was safe. I had a playpen when mine were small so when I was busy I would put them in there and it always seemed to work. Older children seem to be able to climb out of them but at 2 mine couldn't.
     
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  11. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    Unless the playpen was within sight I wonder if the kid would stay quiet. The howling would have surely been there as kids want people around
     
  12. kamai

    kamai Active Member

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    I have a toddler and I am constantly in stress thinking she might get hurt. Good thing she doesn't misbehave too much but I always keep an eye on her. What I do is work around the house depending on how she is behaving if she is calm and is willing to play by herself then that's when I take advantage. I don't ever see myself tying her anytime I rather remain with her as much as I can besides they are little for too little time. It helped that I told her the real consiquences of doing dangerous things since she was a baby.
     
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  13. workingbuck

    workingbuck Active Member

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    That might be the case, since it isn't that costly to hire someone to do housework in our place that's why my mother just hired one who can do all of that instead of one who would take care of us while my mom does the house chores. In our place, it just costs around 100 dollars a month for you to get someone to do house chores, just give the person free meals and a room where she can sleep.
     
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  14. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    No mother would want this option unless there seemed no other alternative. This guy was exceptionally naughty and had to be kept close at hand (lol)
     
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  15. Jasmin Cottontail

    Jasmin Cottontail Active Member

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    I agree with @workingbuck, hiring a nanny to take care of your kids can be a good idea or it can be the other way around, mom takes care of the kids and hire someone to do the household chores. But for someone who can't afford to get a nanny, I think the best thing would be distract to the kid from roaming around by giving him things to do or making him busy like let him watch cartoons or give him something to play with.
     
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  16. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    This happened years ago and at that time things were different. The lady of the house had several other responsibilities. Under the circumstances she perhaps had no other way. There was no guarantee this little imp would not put in his mouth whatever came his way.
     
  17. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    I know of a similar incident that took place in our neighborhood years ago. The lady had tied her one and half years old daughter with a soft rope about 5-6 ft long so she would not be able to walk for a long distance and disturb things or hurt herself while the lady was busy with her household chorus. Incidentally her landlady was watching the whole drama and she immediately intervened.
     
  18. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    I wonder what solution the 'kind hearted' lady offered to solve this frustrated mother (lol)
     
  19. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    No I didn't have that problem as they had toys to play with but surely your mother had to be in other rooms too so couldn't keep her eye on him all the time. The one thing that would worry me about tying a child to anything is he could hurt himself while trying to struggle free.
     
  20. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    She immediately untied her and took her to side of the house. Actually the mother of that baby shared the courtyard with landlady and while she was busy in her daily routine the baby was disturbing things which mostly belonged to landlady. The land lady was really a kind hearted one and when she saw the mom was trying to stop baby from touching and disturbing things the elder lady simply took her and played with her for a long time.
     
  21. Jasmin Cottontail

    Jasmin Cottontail Active Member

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    That might be tough if that's the case. If no one can really take care of the child aside from the mother then I guess she should just do her chores once the baby is asleep or if she needs those tasks to be done right away then she can do it once the baby is eating if he can eat alone (since the kid will be busy at that moment) :)
     
  22. workingbuck

    workingbuck Active Member

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    That would do, but there are times that children wouldn't just sit around and watch what you tell them to watch or do what you want them to do. If ever the parents can't afford to hire a nanny, having another relative like the mom's sister to watch over the kids would do if she won't have anything to do.
     
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  23. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    No mother would want to not try all other alternatives before resorting to restricting the baby up to the time she is occupied. In those days, young as I was, I am not sure what prompted my mother to do what she did. Suffice it to say she loved that little brat with all her heart. Some households used to keep one older child back from going to school until this was no longer an issue but that would mean ruining that child's future.
     
  24. freebird37

    freebird37 New Member

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    I don't believe I could ever find a reason to tie a child to anything. Why not put him in a playpen? I've heard of using a child leash while you are in crowded places so you don't lose them, that makes sense. Tying a child to a table or anything else is treating them like an animal in my opinion. There are a lot of other options. Plan your major household chores while the toddler is napping. At the beginning of the day make sure you give them lots of attention, engage them in creative play with simple puzzles, blocks to build things, and play with them for a while. Chances are if you can get them to do some of these activities, and it's time for you to get some work done, they will generally keep on playing by themselves. You can still interact with your toddler while you are going about your business. Just take a minute or two here and there when you are busy to praise them and just talk to them. Ignoring your child will only make them want your attention that much more. Your little ones need their mom and dad especially when they have no siblings.
     
  25. Jasmin Cottontail

    Jasmin Cottontail Active Member

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    That can be done but if there's no relative or nanny available to take care of the kid then I guess it's better to wait for the kid to be busy with something before doing household chores or anything or wait for him to fall asleep.
     
  26. workingbuck

    workingbuck Active Member

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    I totally agree with this. Just a good time management strategy would do. It would be quite hard but once you get used to it then there would be no problem.
     
  27. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    If the parents can't afford to hire a nanny, then the next best thing to do is to ask a trusted neighbor to look after the kid, or bring the kid to the neighbors house as you go about doing your thing. I also think locking the kid in a room that has no "dangerous items" in it would also be a good alternative.
     
  28. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    Perhaps the presence of his mother could have more than compensated that restriction. Sometimes children feel nice to have someone around and what better choice than their own mother. This situation could have been the only alternative available at that time.
     
  29. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    I would have just left all the stuff and attended to the kid and I have done that. I never had any help after my son was born, although my husband really helped me a lot, he does so even now. He used to look after my son when I had to cook, clean and do other things around the house. Since my husband is an artist, he could easily tweak his own work schedule to help me but there were times when he had to go out and I was left alone. I simply let things happen and didn't bother much with getting things done. I let my son play near me on a mat in the kitchen and did my work for as long as he played by himself. But as soon as he cried for my attention, I stopped what I was doing and attended only to his needs. It did result in a number times where we had very late dinners or lunches and a few missed appointments as well, but I would never have it any other way.
     
  30. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    This is a hard line to cross until you get to make the decision. There are different ways to dealing with unruly kids but violence to the child is never one of them. And one glove doesn't fit all. Children are very different. What has worked for one child may not work for another child. A mother I know got into trouble with the law as she was in the habit of medicating her children to get them to sleep in the afternoons. She would give her two small children a cough mixture. Someone reported her and she got into serious trouble. True story.
     

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