Disciplining Children

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by tony, Dec 22, 2016.

  1. tony

    tony Member

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    I was surprised when a father was happy to say he punishes his children by beating them, kneeling or by flogging. I read in the news about a woman always in the habit of beating her 10-year old maid, one night at around 3am while beating the maid as usual again the small girl couldn't take it anymore and passed out.
    I would choose counselling, talking to their sense of reasoing, over beating when disciplining a child
     
  2. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Member

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    Disciplining the erring child is no big question for it is a part of molding him on how he should behave especially when he is grown up. The Bible is clearly stating that "spare the rod and you spoil the child". The rod is not literally interpreted as the "stick" to be used to punish the problematic child. It is could a form of discipline technique or method to which the child is being made aware that he has committed a mistake, that he has failed to obey his parent, among others. The discipline to give to the child is love in action by telling him his mistakes and advising on what to do rather that insulting him and threatening him so as to terrorize him. The result for that would be worse and he would become vindictive. He would someday take a revenge for that.
     
  3. Decentlady

    Decentlady Member

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    Beating may be permissible at certain occasions not nevessarily with stick or rod though.

    Children these days are quite stubborn and despite multiple warning do not listen to what they are told.

    Besides counselling, punishments like kneeling down or sitting in a corner quietly, what are other better techniques to discipline a child without beating?
     
  4. kamai

    kamai Member

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    I know many children can be stubborn at times but I think beating them is not the answer or else everyone would be beating everyone up since we all misbehave sometimes. There should be firmness and some kind of grounding. The child can be warned at first then talked firming and then grounding them with something they will really behave for. If all that doesn't work there are correctional camps but most children misbehave because something is hurting them emotionally so they might need more attention from their parents not a beating.
     
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  5. tony

    tony Member

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    We are taking the same stand on this issue @kamai I strongly do not agree to beaten children, like you rightly said we all sometimes misbehave then why don't we get beating as adults. We need to find out the root of any strange behavior we notice in our children and address that from that level, then spend time and play with children this will make them more open to share with us any problem or influence they are passing through.
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2016
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  6. James McAllister

    James McAllister Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    'Beating' sounds far worse than 'hitting' and I wouldn't advocate for that either. I don't know how severe the 'beating' in this case was but from the sounds of it I hope those people are in prison.

    I wouldn't hit a child in the same way I wouldn't hit one of my co-workers or a stranger at the store.
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2016
  7. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Member

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    In my younger years, the so called corporal punishment was in fashion. There was no child in my era who didn’t taste the spanking of his parents. There was even a saying that if you “spare the rod” then you “spoil the child.” I cannot count the number of times I have tasted the leather belt of my father hitting my butt. Not to brag but I grew up to be a good person. Now I see kids who are not disciplined that way and some grow up to be wayward and there are even bums. It is not really the corporal punishment that is important when it comes to discipline but the fear of the punishment.
     
  8. Jason76

    Jason76 Member

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    He should be thrown in jail for that, preferably for many years, and should certainly lose custody of the child for life. What you speak of is nothing more than child abuse. Now, on the other hand, a parent that spoils their kid is just as destructive. Therefore, in reality, a happy medium between being too harsh and too nice is ideal.

    Anyhow, you mentioned that she was beaten until she passed out. However, what if she dies? Actually, the man should be taken in for attempted murder.
     
  9. tony

    tony Member

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    What I actually mean the young child passed away. The child is no more there to be kept in the custody of any one very bad. The woman is currently being prosecuted.
     
  10. firstcry

    firstcry Member

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    Really sad to hear about this incident. I think that person is definitely is a sadist who finds pleasure in torturing others. I personally believe that beating kid is no way a solution for any issues. It will only aggravate the situation in due course of time. Beating or physical torture is the ultimate step in punishing a child and in most of the cases after some time kids are forced to ignore them too. In addition to physical issues this may also develop deep psychological issues in children.

    There is no harm in taking help of a child care expert if you think you can no longer control your kid. In any case physical torture has to be avoided which is not going to do any good in the long term.
     
  11. TheKnight

    TheKnight Active Member

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    If people aren't patient enough, they shouldn't have children and especially if they know they're aggressive. There's a difference between a slap on the hand and straight up beating. I don't agree with any sort of hitting but beating is just bullying. You're being your kid's bully and you should have them taken away for that if anyone does it. There are many ways to discipline children that don't require hitting them. Everyone makes mistakes. If you don't want to be hit for a mistake you made, they shouldn't either.
     
  12. Mika

    Mika Member

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    I think physical punishment have become matter of past now. Most educated parents understand that such punishment never improve things for their children but on the contrary make things complicated. The child with frequent punishment loses interest in all which improves his personality but becomes a case of inferiority complex and never comes out of it.
     
  13. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Member

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    I would think that this is really one of the areas that parents wished that there was handbook or official guide for, but of course we all know this is not the case. It is a tough one, but a necessary one.
     
  14. Mika

    Mika Member

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    There can't be an official guide for handling your child as each and every child is different and needs care at personal level. Besides the rules in different societies differ although the rule of love works equally on every child in a same way. What you can teach to your child with a loving and caring way you can never teach him the same with any amount of punishment or neglecting him.
     
  15. Jason76

    Jason76 Member

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    Parents who are in their right mind can use corporal punishment and normally it helps the kids, not the opposite. However, a certain percentage of parents have massive mental problems, and honestly, shouldn't have kids. Those people especially would be prone to abuse the idea of corporal punishment. For instance, they might go into overkill with the punishment and/or might couple the punishment with verbal abuse. For instance, they might call the child ugly, stupid, etc.

    Nonetheless, it's often impossible to police child abuse until it's too late. This fact is mainly because you start getting into privacy issues with parents and the idea of an all-intrusive state.
     
  16. ptahm22

    ptahm22 Member

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    Punishing children by beating them is actually normal in our country. Even teachers are allowed to beat the kids if they misbehave. There have been passed laws to prevent this but they are not yet functional. I watch movies and see that if the kids in countries like USA misbehave they are grounded, their driving licence is taken from them, I've never heard of this in our country. Beating kids in a controlled way does help but don't beat them too much, I have no much experience with other forms of punishment.
     
  17. Binu

    Binu Member

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    Is really hard to discipline children. It is wrong to practice corporal punishment on children even to discipline them. It is also wrong to bribe them even for the purpose of discipline. Children cannot distinguish good and bad. They want to try it themselves even if you tell them this is bad. Hitting used to be a common way to discipline children the past, but these days, parents do not hit children
     
  18. tyche

    tyche New Member

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    Well, my parents certainly did not spare the rod when it comes to their children. My parents hit us or threw objects at us if we did or said something they didn't like, we disobeyed them, or what we unwittingly said or did rubbed them the wrong way. They think that the child will remember what they have done wrong if they hurt them or punish them. Well, at times it can work, but when the child becomes older they would rebel and do things their parents prohibited them to do behind their backs because of all that violence. Lucky are the kids whose parents didn't spank or beat them.
     
  19. blugoddess

    blugoddess New Member

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    A lot of times, severe beatings as punishment say more about the parent than the child. It may be a way of taking some form of anger out on the child. Most of the time it's inappropriate if it's extremely severe and doesn't teach anything except fear and anger. Those two emotions usually rear their ugly head when the child becomes a teen and later an adult.
     
  20. blugoddess

    blugoddess New Member

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    I couldn't agree more. I don't have much to add to this because it is on point and so true.
     

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